Many of you may already know that I post on my Facebook Wall on a daily basis short vignettes about great women past and present and that I am also writing a book  that features several of the stories of these inspiring women.  Some of these women were pioneers in their areas of endeavor and many were women ahead of their time.  I like to refer to these women as my daily companions and sources of inspiration.

This article features five women who teach us, through their words and the legacies they left behind, that a rich, satisfying and successful professional and personal life is the result of:

• Having a big vision but recognizing that this vision is realized one step at a time and being patient with ourselves if it is only a small step
• Taking full responsibility for our thoughts, words and actions and not allowing ourselves the “escape hatch” of excuses when we miss the mark
• Recognizing the need for practicing those actions which are physical manifestations of our thoughts and desires, learning from our inevitable missteps and course correcting
• Being women of action not only of intention
• Allowing ourselves to be fueled by our passions but guided by our logic and common sense

“If you have a great ambition, take as big a step as possible in the direction of fulfilling it. The step may only be a tiny one, but trust that it may be the largest one possible for now.” – Mildred Helen McAfee

 Mildred Helen McAfee Horton

May 12, 1900 – September 2, 1994

Mildred McAfee Horton was President of Wellesley College when she put her academic career on hold to serve her country during World War II as first director of the WAVES in the United States Navy.

“As its first Director, Captain McAfee guided the growth of the WAVES (“Women Accepted for Volunteer Emergency Service”) to a force of more 80,000 Navy women in a variety of occupational specialties. Following her marriage to the Reverend Dr. Douglas Horton in August 1945, she took the name of her husband. Captain Horton continued on active duty until February 1946, when she returned to the Presidency of Wellesley College.”

(from http://www.history.navy.mil/photos/pers-us/uspers-m/m-mcafee.htm)

“After retirement (in 1948), McAfee pursued her other passion in life, her religious faith. Having written her master’s thesis on the “The Young Women’s Christian Association; a Case Study of a Religious Movement,” McAfee was interested in the role that religious organizations could play in the world, and she worked as an influential member of the General Council of Congregational Christian Churches. She considered religion a tool that could bridge gaps, something capable of bringing a greater understanding to people through common devotion, whether Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, or Muslim.

She served as a UNESCO delegate, was a director of the New York Life Insurance Company, the National Broadcasting Company, Radio Corporation of America, and the Ford Foundation’s Fund for the Advancement of Education, and later co-chaired the National Women’s Conference on Civil Rights. ” After her husband’s death on 1968, she “continued her social and religious work until 1994, dying at the age of 94.  At the time of her death, McAfee had more then 31 honorary degrees for her achievements.”

(from (http://vcencyclopedia.vassar.edu/alumni/mildred-mcafee.html))

“I attribute my success to this – I never gave or took any excuse.” – Florence Nightingale

Florence Nightingale

May 12, 1820 – August 13, 1910

Nightingale was the founder of modern nursing and reformer of hospital sanitation methods who laid the foundation of professional nursing with the establishment  in 1860, of her nursing school at St Thomas’ Hospital in London, the first secular nursing school in the world, now part of King’s College London.

“Unknown to many, however, was her use of new techniques of statistical analysis, such as during the Crimean War when she plotted the incidence of preventable deaths in the military. She developed the ‘polar-area diagram’ to dramatize the needless deaths caused by unsanitary conditions and the need for reform. With her analysis, Florence Nightingale revolutionized the idea that social phenomena could be objectively measured and subjected to mathematical analysis.
Nightingale collected data and systematized record-keeping practices and used the data as a tool for improving city and military hospitals. Her calculations of the mortality rate showed that with an improvement of sanitary methods, deaths would decrease; which after her sanitary reform was implemented, the mortality rate declined.” (Excerpted from Cynthia Audain, Biographies of Women Mathematicians)

“I believe that we learn by practice. Whether it means to learn to dance by practicing dancing or to learn to live by practicing living, the principles are the same. In each, it is the performance of a dedicated precise set of acts, physical or intellectual, from which comes shape of achievement, a sense of one’s being, a satisfaction of spirit. One becomes, in some area, an athlete of God. Practice means to perform, over and over again in the face of all obstacles, some act of vision, of faith, of desire. Practice is a means of inviting the perfection desired.” – Martha Graham

Martha Graham

May 11, 1894 – April 1, 1991

Martha Graham was an American modern dancer and choreographer, whose “revolutionary vision and artistic mastery has had a deep and lasting impact on American art and culture. Her bold use of socially infused subjects and emotionally charged performances single-handedly defined contemporary dance as a uniquely American art form, which the nation has in turn shared with the world.

During her long and illustrious career, Graham created 181 masterpiece dance compositions, which continue to challenge and inspire generations of performers and audiences. In 1986, she was given the Local One Centennial Award for dance by her theater colleagues, awarded only once every 100 years, and during the Bicentennial she was granted the United States’ highest civilian honor, The Medal of Freedom. In 1998, TIME Magazine named her the “Dancer of the Century.” The first dancer to perform at the White House and to act as a cultural ambassador abroad, she captured the spirit of a nation and expanded the boundaries of contemporary dance. ‘I have spent all my life with dance and being a dancer,’ she said. ‘It’s permitting life to use you in a very intense way. Sometimes it is not pleasant. Sometimes it is fearful. But nevertheless it is inevitable.’” (from the site of the site of the Martha Graham Dance Company -http://marthagraham.org/about-us/our-history/)

“We might all place ourselves in one of two ranks the women who do something, and the women who do nothing; the first being of course the only creditable place to occupy.” – Lucy Larcom

 Lucy Larcom

May 5, 1824-April 17, 1893

Lucy Larcom was a poet and writer, most noted for her autobiography “A New England Girlhood”.  For more information about the life and contributions of Lucy Larcom, go to:
http://www.nwhm.org/education-resources/biography/biographies/lucy-larcom/
http://www.massmoments.org/moment.cfm?mid=116

“Energy rightly applied and directed will accomplish anything. ” - Nellie Bly’s Motto

Nellie Bly - born Elizabeth Jane Cochran

May 5, 1864–January 27, 1922

“Nellie Bly was born Elizabeth Jane Cochran. In the 1880s and 1890s, as a reporter for Joseph Pulitzer’s New York World, she was a pioneer in investigative reporting. Before the “muckrakers” of the early 20th century publicized corruption and today’s investigative reporters sought the ‘story behind the story,” Bly was one of the first to “go behind the scenes” to expose the ills of society. At considerable personal risk, she had herself committed to a mental institution so she could study first-hand how the mentally ill were treated. As a result of her “expose,” the care of the mentally ill was reformed. The New York Journal recognized her as the “best reporter in America.” After her husband’s death in 1905, she took over his failing industries, introduced the steel barrel to the distilling process, and made the companies a huge success. For almost ten years, she ran two multi-million dollar companies. More importantly, she recognized the value of treating her workers well. Her plants were social experiments, with physical fitness programs, health care, and libraries to teach employees how to read. Later trapped in Europe while World War I broke out, she covered he war as a reporter again. Bly was a model of achievement for women.

(from “http://www.greatwomen.org/women-of-the-hall/search-the-hall/details/2/22-Cochran“

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Kate Sanner

CEO and Founder of Vivacity®

http://VivacityNow.com

Creator of and Coach and Consultant at KateSanner.com (A Division of Vivacity®)

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“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened; vision cleared; ambition inspired, and success achieved.” – Helen Keller

Helen Keller

June 27, 1880 - June 1, 1968

American author, activist and educator and the first deaf and blind person to earn a Bachelor of Arts degree

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Kate Sanner

CEO and Founder of Vivacity®…Jump into Life

Empowering, celebrating and honoring women.

Creator of and Coach and Consultant at KateSanner.com

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One of the ways you can instantly boost your self-confidence is to feel joy.  It’s so important to feel joy in your own accomplishments, but also take time to feel joy in the accomplishments of others.

Some people harbor resentment when others succeed or win – they’ve set up a false equation that goes like this:  “If you gain, I lose”.  It’s a scarcity mentality – an erroneous belief that there is not enough to go around.

Practice allowing yourself to be open to rejoicing in the good fortune of others.  When you make a habit of it, you will marvel at the good fortune that suddenly starts happening for you.

©2012

Kate Sanner

CEO and Founder of Vivacity®…Jump into Life

Empowering, celebrating and honoring women.

Creator of and Coach and Consultant at KateSanner.com 

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In this series of posts, I’ve been taking a look at some of the common roadblocks to success. In this last post in the series, I’ll be discussing procrastination.

All of us can procrastinate at times, even the most structured and organized among us. When we do, it’s usually because we want to avoid doing something unpleasant. It’s short-lived and doesn’t cause us much distress.

But chronic and prolonged procrastination can lead to stress, guilt, crises and a serious lack or productivity as well as the disapproval of bosses, supervisors, colleagues, customers, clients or family members who depend on us.

Sometimes it can create even more work for us because we missed a deadline. Sometimes it can create great financial difficulties.

Procrastination drains our self-confidence. When we procrastinate, we lack focus, we don’t take action, we lack energy and momentum – and focus, taking action, energy and momentum are all important ingredients in feeling self-confident.

What are some of the causes of procrastination?

• Wanting everything to be just right before we begin
• Thinking we can’t do something unless we do something else first
• Being afraid to make a mistake
• Feeling overwhelmed by the enormity of a task or project
• Being unable to ask for help
• Adult ADHD
• Anxiety
• Depression

If you do have ADHD, Anxiety or Depression, it’s best to consult a licensed mental health professional to help you deal with your procrastination.

If these are not factors, here are some techniques I recommend to my coaching clients.

“Jump In”

I was coaching someone who wanted to write a non-fiction instructional program. He was having a hard time keeping his momentum going because he was trying to do it in a linear fashion – first, the outline, then the forward, then Chapter One, etc.

I knew he was an idea person and wasn’t the type who did well with routines or a system. I told him to JUST START SOMEWHERE! I told him to pick a topic in his program that he liked the best and start with that. So what if it would land up being Chapter Eight!

Partialize and Prioritize

Often times when you are in the midst of a big project, you can find yourself overwhelmed by the enormity of the task.

Break down the project into more manageable parts then prioritize the tasks in each part in terms of importance.

Concentrate on one part at a time and do the most important things that will give you the biggest rate of return on your time in each part.

Create Artificial Deadlines

Some people love the sense of urgency a deadline gives them. A long-term project often lacks the sense of urgency – until the deadline comes. When it does arrive, you may or may not have enough time to pull off what you hope to accomplish.

One of the best ways to give yourself the sense of urgency is to set artificial deadlines.

Write down your goal. Set a realistic time for the entire goal to be accomplished. Using the preceding technique, break the goal down into several parts. Set a deadline for each of the parts. Write it on the calendar.

Create Something Tangible

I am a “hands-on” person who likes to have a prototype, script or model – something tangible – to start me in my process. I will never create a linear, step by step system first. That would stress me out and chances are good I would put off getting started.

But I know I have to have something tangible in front of me, so I put a big sheet of paper up on the wall or use a whiteboard and do a “brain dump”. This gets me rolling and I can refine, prioritize and partialize from there.

©2012

Kate Sanner

CEO and Founder of Vivacity®…Jump into Life

Empowering, celebrating and honoring women.

Creator of and Coach and Consultant at KateSanner.com 

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“I had three goals in my life. To finish school, to take nurse’s training and come back and work among my people and to write three books.” – Betty Mae Jumper

 Betty Mae Tiger Jumper

April 27, 1923 – January 14, 2011

Betty Mae Tiger Jumper was the first female chief of the Seminole Tribe of Florida.  Jumper was born in South Florida’s Indiantown near Lake Okeechobee, and attended the Cherokee Indian School in North Carolina.   In 1949,  she became the first Seminole to earn a high school diploma.  Jumper attended nursing school and then returned home to provide and improve health care for the Seminole community.  She started a tribal newsletter called the Seminole News, which later became The Seminole Tribune in 1950.  Jumper is the author of  And With the Wagon — Came God’s Word , Legends of the Seminolesand her autobiography A Seminole Legend: The Life of Betty Mae Tiger Jumper.

Betty Mae Tiger Jumper was inducted into the Florida Women’s Hall of Fame in 1994  and also made the 100 Native Americans Who Shaped American History list.

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Kate Sanner

CEO and Founder of Vivacity®…Jump into Life

Empowering, celebrating and honoring women.

Creator of and Coach and Consultant at KateSanner.com

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In this series of posts, I’ve been taking a look at some of the common roadblocks to success.  In this post I’ll be discussing overcommitment.

The dictionary defines overcommitment as “binding or obligating (oneself, for example) beyond the capacity for realization”.

I like to refer to it as the “Accordion File Syndrome” (AFS). Women are particularly prone to it, though men can suffer from it too.

Sufferers of “AFS” have a difficult time:

• Setting priorities
• Putting their needs first
• Recognizing their limits
• Setting realistic expectations
• Saying “No”

They overcommit to others. They take on too many things at the same time. And like an accordion file, they stretch and stretch as they take on more and more.

Why? As always, there can be many reasons.

There’s a lot of information out there (not really supported by research) that says women are better at “multitasking”. This “skill” is attributed to the fact that we are often wives, mothers and career women all at the same time. Or we seem to be able to do many things at the same time quite well.

But just because we can…should we? Research would indicate the answer is no; in most cases, doing one task at a time is more efficient in terms of time, energy and efficiency than multi-tasking.

And from a psychological perspective, having too many “balls in the air” generally causes stress. And, at some point, one of them will eventually drop, causing even more stress.

Another reason people overcommit is that there is often a fear that saying no will bring disapproval, criticism or rejection.

Co-dependency and Adult ADHD are other possible causes.

No matter the cause, overcommitment creates problems. At some point, even the largest of accordion files becomes overly full and cannot take on one more thing. It begins to look disorganized. It begins fraying and tearing at the edges. It becomes unwieldy.

And the same holds true for us. At some point, if overcommitted, we will lose track of our promises, start missing our deadlines, and disappoint or anger those on the receiving end of our commitments. Guilt, stress and self-reproach can ensue. We run ourselves ragged and exhaust ourselves in the process.

Here’s one way to address overcommitment:

Decide on Your Priorities

List your commitments. Next to each, list why you do them.

Put some kind of indicator (word, symbol) next to each of them to express how you feel about them.

Go over each of them and ask yourself if the reason you committed to them in the first place still valid?

Does this commitment build your self-confidence and help you to grow? Does it bring you fulfillment?

Do each of these commitments resonate with your values?

Which of these commitments are on the Love to do list, Have to do list, Feel obligated to do but really not worth the time list, Dislike doing list?

Of the ones you dislike or are ambivalent about:

Which can you delegate out?  Which can you eliminate?  What can you do less of?  Which can you take a temporary break from?

Of the ones you love or like – are any of these too much of a good thing?

Choose one thing to let go of.  Inform whoever needs to know.  If that person asks why, remember you do not need to explain but you can simply state “Things have recently changed for me (in my personal life or business) and I can no longer______.”  No need to apologize (you did nothing wrong).

©2012

Kate Sanner

CEO and Founder of Vivacity®…Jump into Life

Empowering, celebrating and honoring women.

Creator of and Coach and Consultant at KateSanner.com

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Take every opportunity to talk to people, to engage with them.  (Of course, only do this in safe situations.)  There are many opportunities to do this throughout the day – waiting in a line or sitting next to someone on a plane or train. Or when someone is waiting on you in person or on the phone, connect to the fullest extent you can (a warm smile and a friendly hello can go a long way).

Whatever the context, be genuine, make it count.  Be interested.  You will find that this lifts your mood and makes you feel good about yourself.

In addition, reaching out to others gives you a feeling of self-efficacy – that you can make things happen – and self-empowerment.  And both of these – efficacy and empowerment – boost your self-confidence.

And one last benefit of reaching out to others:  you never know what will come out of making these connections – sometimes they can spark ideas and sometimes they can spark opportunities.

(Note:  If you’re an introvert like I am, I know that this can be a stretch.  Even though it can be a challenge, it’s well worth the effort.)

©2012

Kate Sanner

CEO and Founder of Vivacity®…Jump into Life

Empowering, celebrating and honoring women.

Creator of and Coach and Consultant at KateSanner.com

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“It’s the little things citizens do. That’s what will make the difference. My little thing is planting trees.” – Wangari Maathai

Wangari Muta Maathai

April 1, 1940 – September 25, 2011

Wangari Muta Maathai was a “Kenyan environmental and political activist. In the 1970s, Maathai founded the Green Belt Movement, an environmental non-governmental organization focused on the planting of trees, environmental conservation, and women’s rights.

In 1986, she was awarded the Right Livelihood Award, and in 2004, she became the first African woman to receive the Nobel Peace Prize for “her contribution to sustainable development, democracy and peace.” Maathai was an elected member of Parliament and served as assistant minister for Environment and Natural Resources in the government of President Mwai Kibaki between January 2003 and November 2005. ” (Wikipedia.org)

To learn more about the life and contributions of Wangari Maathai, go to http://greenbeltmovement.org/w.php?id=3

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Kate Sanner

CEO and Founder of Vivacity®…Jump into Life

Empowering, celebrating and honoring women.

Creator of and Coach and Consultant at KateSanner.com

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In this series of posts,  I’ve been taking a look at some of the common roadblocks to success.  In this post I will be discussing lack of follow-through or having a difficult time seeing things through to the end.

I’ve known and worked with people who have great ideas, plenty of enthusiasm, and put a lot of effort into a project but then never finish it.  It’s as if they are running a long race then slow down and come to a complete halt just as they are getting ready to cross the finish line. Why would anyone do this?  The reason why this problem exists varies.  In a minute, I’ll go into the possible reasons for this self-sabotage as well as a strategy on how to deal with them.  But before I do, let me give you a few reasons that may require professional help and guidance.

Anxiety, Depression and Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can be the cause of never finishing anything.  If you suspect that you do suffer from anxiety or depression or that you may have ADHD, please consult with your physician.  She can steer you towards whether you will need to consult with a psychiatrist or pursue counseling.

Clinical depression and anxiety can be crippling and their treatment will have to be handled by a licensed professional.  I do not believe that coaches can adequately help you with these clinical issues. Though I have been a mental health professional for many years, I do not believe that every problem needs a therapist, but clinical depression and anxiety do.  Medication may be necessary and counseling can help relieve symptoms, teach you new strategies you can rely on in the long term and prevent relapse.

In regards to ADHD, once a professional has diagnosed ADHD (and whether you choose to go with medication or not), I believe a coach (or therapist) who specializes in working with people with ADHD is appropriate.

If the previous problems do not affect you, here are some common reasons you lack follow through or cannot finish what you started:

• Perfectionism
• Too many competing demands or overcommitment
• Lack of belief in yourself – You just don’t think that what you have to offer is that important – the “Who would want what I have to offer anyway” syndrome.
• Lack of focus – You let yourself get distracted (maybe because the work is challenging) or you hyper -focus on details to the point that it gets and keeps you off track.
• Belief that you have to be in the mood to complete things – You actually believe that you have to really feel like doing a thing and so you wait until that mood strikes you (which could be never!). 
• Unrealistic expectations for how long it will take you to finish a project – You think that a project will take less time then is really reasonable and when it lands up taking longer, you get discouraged and stop. 
• Lack of a burning desire – You want to do something but really, it’s just a wish – kind of a “wouldn’t it be nice to…” thing.  Only a burning desire gets you to the finish line. 
• Treating obstacles as if they were permanent – You run into an obstacle and rather than think “There’s got to be a way around (through, under, over) it, I just haven’t found it yet”, you wave the white flag and give up – temporarily or permanently.  I call this being a “serial quitter”: a) either you quit several times on a project which causes you to lose ground and you have to build momentum again or, b) you quit the project completely, start another, hit an obstacle and quit this new project.
• You feel like a fake – Though you may have a lot of knowledge and experience, you have a lingering belief that you don’t have anything valuable to contribute and that if you put your work out there, others will view you as a fraud or an imposter – they’ll find you out.
•  Fear of criticism – You believe that your work defines you and your worth – if others criticize your work, they are criticizing you and your worth as a person.

An Exercise to Address Lack of Follow Through 

Finish this sentence…

In the field of psychological testing, there is a test called “the sentence-completion technique”.  In it, the evaluator presents the subject with a series of partial sentences that she is asked to finish in her own words (e.g., “I feel upset when…”).

You can do the same for understanding why you lack follow through on finishing a task.  Complete any or all of the following sentences:

“I am not completing this task because….”

“If I don’t complete this project, I think what will happen is…”

“If I do complete this project, I think what will happen is…”

Write as many answers as you can for these sentences.  Let everything spill out on to the page.  Somewhere in these sentences, you will reach the truth of the matter.  Do a rigorous digging down with each answer you gave to the questions I listed.  In doing so, you will get down to the real reason you are not finishing.  Take responsibility for whatever you find out through this exercise – don’t blame yourself – just own it.  Now that you understand, it’s time to take action to remediate what is stopping you from crossing the finish line.

©2012

Kate Sanner

CEO and Founder of Vivacity®…Jump into Life

Empowering, celebrating and honoring women.

Creator of and Coach and Consultant at KateSanner.com

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Two great women share the birthdate of March 24:  Dorothy Height and Dorothy Stratton.  Though role models in very different arenas, these two women share similar character traits: leadership,  strength of conviction and dedication.

“Greatness is not measured by what a man or woman accomplishes, but by the opposition he or she has overcome to reach his goals.” – Dorothy Height

Dorothy Irene Height

March 24, 1912 – April 20, 2010

Known as  ”the godmother of the civil rights movement”, Dorothy Height was a social service worker, activist and four-decade-long president of the National Council of Negro Women (NCNW).

To learn more about Ms. Height’s life and contributions, please go to:  http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/21/us/21height.html

“All we asked was for the Coast Guard just to give the women a chance. They gave the women the chance, and the women made good.” – Coast Guard Captain Dorothy C. Stratton

Dorothy Constance Stratton, USCGR (W), Ph.D.

March 24, 1899 – September 17, 2006

Coast Guard Captain Dorothy C. Stratton was the director of the SPARS, the United States Coast Guard Women’s Reserve during World War II. She is the namesake of the Coast Guard’s third National Security Cutter, theUSCGC Stratton (WMSL-752).

“As Director of the Women’s Reserve of the U.S. Coast Guard Reserve, Captain Stratton was primarily responsible for originating policies for the procurement, training, utilization, and maintenance or morale of members of the SPARs. Through her qualities of leadership, Captain Stratton inspired the finest type of woman to volunteer her services to her country. Through her keen understanding of the abilities of women, her vision of the jobs which they could perform, and her consummate tact in fitting women into a military organization, she was able to direct the efforts of the women of the Reserve into channels of the greatest usefulness to the Coast Guard and to the country. She has thus made substantial contributions to the successful prosecution of the war effort through her competent leadership and direction of the Women’s Reserve of the United States Coast Guard Reserve.” (Her official war-time biography)

To read a biography of this remarkable woman, go to:  http://www.uscg.mil/history/people/DStrattonBio.asp

Posted by:

Kate Sanner

CEO and Founder of Vivacity®…Jump into Life

Empowering, celebrating and honoring women.

Creator of and Coach and Consultant at KateSanner.com

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